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This is Eric Osterweil's blog/homepage. I make no guarantees that it is factual, interesting, or that it has been spell checked.
Wanna drop me a line? eoster@cs.ucla.edu
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Wherefore Art Thou Funny GEICO Ads? |
For a long time, GEICO held a very special place in my heart... Well, their advertising company did.
It was amazing how many tremendous commercial campaigns they were coming out with in such short order:
- The gecko was so so.
- The FIRST set of caveman skits were amazing.
- Tiny house kicked so much butt that I can't find the words.
- The speed racer toon was gut busting (at least, it should be to anyone who went to college in the 90's).
- Hell, even the bear-eats-salmon one was pretty good.
I was laughing to the point of tears almost every month for a while!
But, have we reached the end of GEICO's ad-dominance? Have they've completely stagnated? Their latest attempt
to keep things "fresh" is recasting the seriously unfunny GEICO gecko! He used to have a British accent, but
now he has a cockney accent? WTF?!? This is insulting. It's almost as bad as when Bewitched tried to switch Daren from Dick York
to Dick Sergeant (like no one would notice)... OK, I never really watched Bewitched, but everyone knows about that carp.
GEICO, shape up! In the words of your own caveman, "Not cool!" Your new lizard campaign blows,
and you've totally lost your way. Get back on the ass-kickin'
wagon, and make me bust a gut, or Imma have to switch to All-State. At least they have president Palmer (from 24)
in THEIR ads!
Sat, 15 Apr 2006 12:10:01 PDT
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Burn Me Once, Shame on You... |
Jack Jack Jack... What is going on man?!? This week on 24, Jack found out that
he's been shanked in the back by his main squeeze... AGAIN! Damn Jack, you
really know how to pick 'em! For those that may not have wasted a whole 24 hours on
previous 24 marathons, here's the background: Season 1: Jack's wife gets killed by
Jack's lover (who turns out to be an evil terrorist). Season 2, ex-lover comes back
into the picture and messes shit up. Season 3, ex-lover comes back again, and I stop
watching. Now, it looks like Jack's NEW main squeeze (that we met last season)
might be passing info to terroists... *sigh*
We'll see where this is going but I reckon one of 2 things is likely to happen:
1 - Miss know it all is really innocent, and this is 24's latest lame cliffhanger.
2 - Jack is sensationally bad at choosing women, but the writers need to stop punishing the audience
with this carp.
Tue, 21 Mar 2006 10:43:02 PST
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Brokeback Bunnies |
I never did see Brokeback Mountain... And FSM willing, I never will, but I
hate the thought of missing out on some real pop-culture. So, I asked myself
WWFSMD? I pondered this for an eternity (or maybe 2 minutes) before I got an email that
unlocked this mystery! The site 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library
(previously mentioned here) has cranked out another gem!
Now I know how this story goes (not like I particularly care), but I also got
to laugh my ass off too... Here is, Brokeback Mountain
acted by bunnies! Clearly, this is how it was always meant to be viewed. ;)
Tue, 21 Mar 2006 10:31:00 PST
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Happy Birthday Al! |
Today is my man Einstein's birthday. Everyone, regardless of your walk in life, knows
who this dude was. Many people think of him when someone says the word "genius," most
people think of the word "genius," when the hear his name, but it takes a very special
person to think of the word, "creepy," when his name is uttered...
My office-mate (whose initials are YW) told me that herr professor
is "creepy." I can't help but laugh... You know, this isn't as funny when I type it out...
F*** that, happy birthday Albert, say hi to Chris Penn when you see him. ;)
Tue, 14 Mar 2006 17:54:57 PST
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Nerd Love Dies, and... |
As one of our starcrossed nerd lovers (Edger) breathes his last breaths of Sentox nerve
gas, his dear nerd lover (Chloe) could only look on with a look of... What the hell
was that look anyway? Socially awkward, confusion? Maybe what they say is true, "every
time a nerd chokes to death on nerve gas, a deadbeat actor gets another shot at glory?"
No, I'm not talking about that washed up hobbit, Sam. He's dead now. I mean... C. Thomas Howell!
You know, that dopey kid from the Outsiders, the reluctant yuppie from Side Out, the crazy dude from Red Dawn:
Colonel Has been: "All that hate's gunna burn you up, kid."
Crazy Wolverine (aka C. Thomas Howell): "Keeps me warm"
lol... Never change C. Well, he's finally found his way back into our homes. Now he's an
over the hill clinical psychologist. *sigh*
Oh yeah, but Jack didn't kick any ass this week. I guess he had to take a week off, since last
week he capped some house wife because her hubby was holding out on Jack... NO! I'm totally not
kidding. Jack is one steely mutha...
Mon, 13 Mar 2006 22:54:36 PST
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Will the Real Aeon Flux Please Stand Up... Please Stand Up! |
Ladies and gentlemen, there is cause for rejoicing! When I first heard that Paramount
was making a movie about Aeon Flux, I almost pitched a fit. Aeon Flux was such an awesome/weird/incomprehensible
set of shorts that you just had to love it. I used to love watching it on MTV's Liquid Television. Of course
as soon as I heard about the movie I immediately assumed they had cast the only hottie
that could carry the part. I am, naturally, referring to Milla "Multipass" Jovovich. Needless to
say I was totally pissed off when they cast Charlize "Nasty Skank from Monster" Theron. What the
hell were those idiots thinking?!?!? Well, I'm glad the movie blew. I didn't want to see it
without the REAL Aeon! I psychically called for a national boycott, and I can tell you all heard
me and agreed... Thank you!
Well, now, we have it. Sony has brought balance back to the force! Milla is staring in
AeonViolet (or something),
but it's clear that this is the real Aeon Flux! What the hell
were those retards at Paramount thinking... Charlize?!?!? Puuuuuuleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassseeeee!
I salute you Aeon, kick ass and do it in the smoking hot way only you can. Eat that Charlie's Errand!
PS - Milla... Call me...
Mon, 27 Feb 2006 23:52:18 PST
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Who Has Time for the Classics? |
Look, we're all busy and making time for important things gets tougher and tougher
the cooler you get. Keeping up with pop-culture (like Underworld) isn't always
easy. So, how the hell are we supposed to get around to watching the classics,
or even remember them? I'm talking about movies like Star Wars (of course that's
on the top of the list, I'm a CS grad student), Pulp Fiction, A Christmas Story,
etc.
Well, now there's an incredibly easy, and totally friggin hilarious, way to keep
the classics fresh in our minds... I'm talking about
The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library. This amazing site uses flash-animated
bunnies to tell the stories of some of our greatest movie classics, and it does
it just 30 seconds!
This is a must see!
Sat, 25 Feb 2006 22:28:19 PST
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Don't Go Gentle into the Ass Kickin' Night |
Sad news today. Chris Penn, who played Travis Brickley in the Best of the Best series, and some other roles in "lesser movies,"
passed away. He wasn't the most physically inspiring actor, nor the most convincing when it came to his infrequent romantic scenes,
but he did do his fair share of ass-kickin'.
Those of you who can admit (as I do) that you loved the first 2 (but hated all of the other) Best of the Best movies will surely
recall how Travis didn't take no shit from no one... He was a smart-ass tough-guy who even took a swing at Tommy (the protagonist)
at one point... Sounds like someone else I know. ;) Good on ya Chris. Of course, Brakus pretty much owned him in the first few minutes
of the second movie... *shrug* You can't win 'em all.
He was pretty diesel in later movies like Rush Hour, Reservoir Dogs, etc. This was nice
because he had a pretty slow start in 80's movies like Footloose (at least he was playing a tough guy in that pantie-waste movie).
Keep kickin' ass and eatin' well wherever you are Chris, peace...
Mon, 23 Jan 2006 00:22:39 PST
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Surface Jumps the Shark |
Holy crap... I don't know if anyone else out there was watching this NBC show
Surface, but tonight it
jumped the shark, and it jumped it good.
I've been kind of on the fence about this one for a while,
but TiVo has kept me honest, and I've doggedly tuned in almost every
week. Well, I think that may be done now. Let me just bring everyone up
to speed (in case you managed to miss this gem before now).
- Hot woman scientist sees sea monster, stupid reject from pluming school (insurance douche) sees brother get eaten by monster,
Massively ugly little kid gets pet baby monster.
Note: up to this point the series seemed kind of good...
- Scientist and douche team up, government wants to "silence" them.
- Kid continues to get increasingly annoying, baby monster eats poodle (actually that was pretty kewl), and kid remains ugly as sin.
- Hottie scientist goes to the bottom of the ocean with super douche and they watch sea monsters-gone-wild.
- Kid gets jumped by pet monster's "friends" from the wrong side of the tracks, almost dies, pet monster licks kid, kid gets better
(but is still an ugly little turd).
- Smokin' hot science lady goes on TV, gets discredited by Ben Stein's evil twin, government tries to kill her and her retarded companion.
And now, the moment of truth... The jumping of the shark...
- It turns out, the brutally ugly kid (who got cured by his pet's licks)
has... TURNED INTO A SEA MONSTER! He leads all of the little sea
monsters back into the ocean! LOL, and the series isn't done yet either!
Sigh... What has TV come to? I left out some of the details from this 13 week odyssey of wasted Monday nights, but
I think you get the idea. What can you expect? At least the chick is hot. ;)
Mon, 23 Jan 2006 22:57:25 PST
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Memoirs of a Geisha II: Evolution |
OK, usually I do my OWN blogging, but this was just so damned funny that I had to
take it. A buddy of mine wrote in and responded to my Chuck Norris entry.
Here is the un-edited response... Mad funny!:
Dude that Chuck Norris is CRAZY. But you know who could whoop Chuck Norris ass?
Vampires & Werewolves. I think they have a documentary coming out called "Vampires
in leather are hot and Werewovles looks like eastern european Grunge rockstars" or
it may be called "Underworld II"...
You rock Chip!
Thu, 19 Jan 2006 17:55:42 PST
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The Hardest Ass Kicking Man in Show Business |
We all knew Chuck Norris was a bad mutha... shut yo mouth... I'm talkin'
'bout Chuck baby! Anyway, even though I knew Chuck was bad, I haven't seen
him lately. I started to forget... You might say, I began to think of straying.
Thank FSM a friend sent me the latest (and possibly greatest) homage to Chuck... EVER!
Check out the Top 10 Chuck Norris Facts page!
I knew the dude was cool, but this cool?!?! DAMN!
Since finding this page and immediately spamming all of my closest (and now some of my former) friends
I found out that some people (particularly in my lab) don't even know who Chuck is!?!? How
can this be? You know who you are (Y**** W*)! Anyway, please enjoy learning about Chuck, or
in my case re-learning about him!
Never change big man!
Wed, 18 Jan 2006 16:49:52 PST
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24 is BACK BABY! |
Jack is BACK!
I have to tell you, I am so psyched that 24 has start off so well this season. Some of you may remember
their previously ill-fated seasons that tried to get a running start before jumping the shark.
Well, this season actually feels pretty good. There's a fair amount of cheese here. Jack has a
new "love of his life," and some completely vapid blond 15 year old punk almost gets Jack killed, but
it's all good. Jack just gets to kick more ass because of this little tool.
An added bonus is that know-it-all brain dead Michelle got cap'ed in the first friggin' episode!
The first episode!!! How great is that. See ya Michelle.
IMHO, this season is off to the right kind of start (no one has "uploaded a NAT table to the Internet routers..."
At least, not yet anyway).
Wed, 18 Jan 2006 13:30:24 PST
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Lunesta Butterfly Considered Harmful |
What the hell?!? I frankly don't understand the logic behind this lame-ass
campaign at all. Somehow those that can't sleep take Lunesta,
and BAM, a nasty bug flies into their bedroom and takes a crap on their
shoulder? Maybe I'm misinterpreting this? Maybe the butterfly is
using Lunesta like roofies? Maybe the butterfly meets these insomniacs at
group meetings, and then slips them some Lunsta... Flash forward
a few hours and the horny little bug comes floating into their bedroom and
makes nookie with their shoulder...
Well, whichever it is, this really sucks in 2 ways:
- That bug is gross, and it doesn't make sense why insomniacs would like
to have it molesting them while they're laid up
- Seprecor isn't going to eat it on this ridiculously over-played
campaign! All of their drugs' prices get hiked because
of this horny little nymphalidae.
In short, this bug has to be stopped, and I can't do it alone! Who's with me?
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Doom the Movie?!?! You're friggin kidding me... |
I couldn't believe my eyes... Yeah, I heard about the trailer, and then I
downloaded it. Once I realized that I wasn't having some kind
of psychotic episode, and that there really is going to be a whole movie based
on an FPS, and they included scenes STRAIGHT OUT OF
the FPS (stalking in FPS mode, reloading, etc.), and there STILL isn't a G.I.
Joe movie (jk) I couldn't be at all surprised that
they casted the Rock in the lead role.
Synopsis: Ok, watch the trailer, but in short, those damn
scientists have been "discover[ing] the last 10% of our genome" and of
course the result is Doom! Lol... I can't even write this without laughing.
I feel like such a snob after wasting all of the nights
in college, stalking and using my chainsaw on unsuspecting demons. What kind
of love interest do you think they'll write in? Maybe
a tough, but misunderstood demoness who secretly likes earth-meat... :-P
Well, if anyone can pull this movie off (and I don't think ANYONE
can), it would be the Rock... Good luck Dwayne, we'll be watching!
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Jack Bauer is My Hero! |
Well, of course I'm talking about the semi-smash hit 24. I call it a "semi-smash" hit because
it jumped the shark pretty badly in
its 3rd season. Here's a quick breakdown by season:
- Breakout hit. Very original and Jack Bauer first became my hero.
- Similar formula to the first season, but still very good.
- Season starts out with Jack's brainless daughter working with daddy.
Daddy's partner gets involved... it just gets worse.
There was (if I recall correctly) a triple double cross in the first couple
of episodes, and on and on and on. Needless to say, I
didn't finish the season. Jack was no longer my hero :(
- Season came out, and I was still wounded. So I didn't watch.
So... I'll admit it... I wasted a completely beautiful day here in sunny Los
Angeles. I started watching the A&E
24 marathon, and I've been glued to it... all day. Sure I feel dirty, but
damn that 4th season was good. In short (I know, too late), 24
is awesome! Jack just kix way too much ass. Smashing down doors, poppin'
terroists, and being just an overall steely badass... I know who
I'll be for Halloween. I wonder if CTU hires software dudes... :)
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