Memoirs of a Geisha II: Evolution

OK, usually I do my OWN blogging, but this was just so damned funny that I had to take it. A buddy of mine wrote in and responded to my Chuck Norris entry. Here is the un-edited response... Mad funny!:

Dude that Chuck Norris is CRAZY. But you know who could whoop Chuck Norris ass? Vampires & Werewolves. I think they have a documentary coming out called "Vampires in leather are hot and Werewovles looks like eastern european Grunge rockstars" or it may be called "Underworld II"...

You rock Chip!

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 17:55:42 PST

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The Hardest Ass Kicking Man in Show Business

We all knew Chuck Norris was a bad mutha... shut yo mouth... I'm talkin' 'bout Chuck baby! Anyway, even though I knew Chuck was bad, I haven't seen him lately. I started to forget... You might say, I began to think of straying.

Thank FSM a friend sent me the latest (and possibly greatest) homage to Chuck... EVER! Check out the Top 10 Chuck Norris Facts page! I knew the dude was cool, but this cool?!?! DAMN!

Since finding this page and immediately spamming all of my closest (and now some of my former) friends I found out that some people (particularly in my lab) don't even know who Chuck is!?!? How can this be? You know who you are (Y**** W*)! Anyway, please enjoy learning about Chuck, or in my case re-learning about him!

Never change big man!

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 16:49:52 PST

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24 is BACK BABY!

Jack is BACK!

I have to tell you, I am so psyched that 24 has start off so well this season. Some of you may remember their previously ill-fated seasons that tried to get a running start before jumping the shark. Well, this season actually feels pretty good. There's a fair amount of cheese here. Jack has a new "love of his life," and some completely vapid blond 15 year old punk almost gets Jack killed, but it's all good. Jack just gets to kick more ass because of this little tool.

An added bonus is that know-it-all brain dead Michelle got cap'ed in the first friggin' episode! The first episode!!! How great is that. See ya Michelle.

IMHO, this season is off to the right kind of start (no one has "uploaded a NAT table to the Internet routers..." At least, not yet anyway).

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 13:30:24 PST

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Lunesta Butterfly Considered Harmful

What the hell?!? I frankly don't understand the logic behind this lame-ass campaign at all. Somehow those that can't sleep take Lunesta, and BAM, a nasty bug flies into their bedroom and takes a crap on their shoulder? Maybe I'm misinterpreting this? Maybe the butterfly is using Lunesta like roofies? Maybe the butterfly meets these insomniacs at group meetings, and then slips them some Lunsta... Flash forward a few hours and the horny little bug comes floating into their bedroom and makes nookie with their shoulder...

Well, whichever it is, this really sucks in 2 ways:

1. That bug is gross, and it doesn't make sense why insomniacs would like to have it molesting them while they're laid up
2. Seprecor isn't going to eat it on this ridiculously over-played campaign! All of their drugs' prices get hiked because of this horny little nymphalidae.

In short, this bug has to be stopped, and I can't do it alone! Who's with me?

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Doom the Movie?!?! You're friggin kidding me...

I couldn't believe my eyes... Yeah, I heard about the

Synopsis: Ok, watch the trailer, but in short, those damn scientists have been "discover[ing] the last 10% of our genome" and of course the result is Doom! Lol... I can't even write this without laughing. I feel like such a snob after wasting all of the nights in college, stalking and using my chainsaw on unsuspecting demons. What kind of love interest do you think they'll write in? Maybe a tough, but misunderstood demoness who secretly likes earth-meat... :-P Well, if anyone can pull this movie off (and I don't think ANYONE can), it would be the Rock... Good luck Dwayne, we'll be watching!

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Jack Bauer is My Hero!

Well, of course I'm talking about the semi-smash hit

1. Breakout hit. Very original and Jack Bauer first became my hero.
2. Similar formula to the first season, but still very good.
3. Season starts out with Jack's brainless daughter working with daddy. Daddy's partner gets involved... it just gets worse. There was (if I recall correctly) a triple double cross in the first couple of episodes, and on and on and on. Needless to say, I didn't finish the season. Jack was no longer my hero :(
4. Season came out, and I was still wounded. So I didn't watch.

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Ugly Lives in Santa Barbara

If you're eating, put the food down... seriously!

Now, I LOVE dogs... They're great! I could go on and on about them, but here I have to say that this poor animal is, in fact, the ugliest thing I have ever seen! I SAID EVER!!! Man! Some people have been beaten with an ugly stick, but they must have busted one of this creature's legs off and whittled it INTO the friggin' ugly stick. Sam is ugly incarnate!

Man, those eyes and those teeth... I think I'm going to have nightmares that are so bad that I might beg for merciful dreams of Rosie O'Donnell (maybe in a swimsuit)... Holy Frijoles! Imagine seeing this little turd crawling around on your kitchen floor... Are you thinking what I'm thinking? RAT! *Squish*

Once again, your hate mail is welcome. ;)

Update: This just in, we've done it! We've found Sam's long lost brother! Yes, separated at birth? You be the judge. This is a great gem, So, what do YOU think?!? Separated at birth?!?!?!

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Shooting Cats in the name of Science?

Well, the subject is pretty plain, but before you write a long hate-mail to me about how cats are beautiful creatures, and they're good for more than just slippers or stew, let me explain. I found this

Damn, I couldn't MAKE this shit up. Here's my favorite excerpt from the abstract:

  group A, the gunshot wound control group

You may commence writing me hate mail!

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RANCH!

I have to congratulate you Wendy's... Way to take an ad campaign and just knock it outta the damn park. I wish I had a friggin Ranch Tooth. In fact, I scoured the Web to find a Ranch Tooth icon... WHAT THE HELL?!?!? How can it be so hard to find something so awesome?! I used Google and everything. Well, F*** that, here's MY Ranch Tooth icon! Anyone who's been in the same hell as me without your own Ranch Tooth icon (there must be millions of us), here ya go!

Yup, that's the sole reason for this entry... RANCH!!!

Just in: A ranch tooth icon from a reader! It's a real .ico file, so now you can go friggin' hog WILD with Ranch Teeth all over your desktop! Yeeee haaaa!

If you're wondering what all the fuss is about, here's one of the awesome commercials!

Just in (again): New ranch tooth icon!

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New Homepage!

This is Eric Osterweil's homepage. So, what makes a good webpage? I certainly have no idea, BUT, I figure, why not just start from a solid base? Hence, Blahdot. If you like it, great, if not, be sure to not email me about it. ;)

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Theory of Evolution

So, I've been thinking for a long time, "Hey, these [un]Intelligent Design (uID) people are really on to something, but I think we need to consider the possibility of a 'noodly' creator, and tell our children about HIM! You know, someone who Dr. Atkins would really hate!"

I've also wondered: doesn't any credible theory of our creation hinge on the existence of massive pillaging and the wanton collection of booty? Well, thank FSM there are some scientists out there who discovered this very phenomenon, and were able to capture it in a rigorous scientific framework! I give you: the FSM

ARRRRRRRRGGGG!!!

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IRL

I'm in 4677 now. I've moved on from sensor networks to network-networks.

The way I see it, bigger is better... More nodes means more phun. So, I see the Internet (with all of its wild and woolly problems) as a fertile playground for all kinds of stuff.

Maybe you disagree? Well, lemme see if I can find someone who might care, and I'll get back to you. ;)

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OS X, X11, and Enlightenment!

Apples rock! I've moved through phases where I've preferred Macs (pre-OS X), Windows, Linux, *BSD, and several proprietary Unix flavors, and I've come to the conclusion that FOR ME, OS X is where its at! On my mac, I code and surf and watch movies and tune my system and run bind and more and more and more, and I get all the benefits of fully supported HW and SW. It just works great! Nice job Apple. ;)

Along the way, I found it a bit challenging to get my favorite WM (E) to run alongside Aqua with all of its bells and whistles (including a functional ALT key in the window manager!). I decided that those who follow should not need to search the web endlessly, as I did. So, need help with OS X and X11? Check this... foo!

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jeeonline.com

My friend Jee is the most awesome fashion designer in the world! She's got THE most diesel

Here's what she has to say about it:

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Do you do Do?

Yeah? Then checkout my

This place is awesome. If you're interested in self-defense, a great workout, and/or the premier instructor in all of New York, you need to be looking at TKT!

Too bad (for me) there's no West Coast branch... :-P

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