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This is the topic you requested from Eric Osterweil's blog/homepage. I make no guarantees that it is factual, interesting, or that it has been spell checked.
Wanna drop me a line? eoster@cs.ucla.edu
Blah Blah Blah
CryptoKids: Let's Have Your Lunch Money! |
You know, I don't have any kids, and while I still manage to get to sleep at night despite this, I'd like to think that IF I had a kid
she/he would NOT get ahold of the CryptoTools website. I know, I know, you must
be thinking, "But, these kids seem so kewl..." Yeah, yeah, with icons like: "Crypto Cat," "Decipher
Dog," "Rosetta Stone," and FSM knows who else, why wouldn't someone die for the chance to brag,
"My kid's a CryptoDouche!" Yeah, I'd love to think if I ever spawn a little Eric[a], I would be lucky enough to run into one
of these CryptoParents.
I could congratulate them on adding another badly needed punching bag into the World, and then I could tell Eric Jr.:
"Go show the nice little wiener how to give you his lunch money."
LOL... Obviously I must be kidding, right? I mean, how could we imagine an America without CryptoKids there to train other kids
in their classes how to be tough and capable? If I had been a CryptoKid, I would take solace in knowing that everyone who ever beat
me up was likely to go on to be a real man (or woman) and that I might have helped them hone their own skills and to focus on how
to be kewl. Hell, I'll bet the Spartans from 300 either did have, or should have had
AbacusKids to kick around. Maybe that's who King Leonidas was beating the hell out of as kid during that weird right-of-passage where
they either chisel the kids out of stone, or let them get eaten by crazy-assed demon wolves.
Or do you think maybe those nasty-assed festering priests at the top of that mountain were the
OracleKids of Ancient Sparta? Damn... If that doesn't just make you wanna pull your kid outta school and make sure he/she knows better?
I wonder how many terrorists look at the CryptoClowns web page and think, "Wow, we're in trouble now... Maybe we should think about
picking on England instead..." Good job NSA! I suppose recruiting young
ciphers that have no ability to make friends will help when
someone joins the NSA and isn't allowed to make any connections outside the farm, huh? ;)
Fri, 16 Mar 2007 11:47:36 PDT
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