Kaoru Mulvihill – Testimony

When Pastor Jim suggested that I write my testimony to share, I didn’t think it was going to be that difficult – was I ever wrong. This journey has brought back a flood of feelings and questions, but its all been amazingly gratifying.

I consciously accepted Jesus Christ when I was in junior high, but never really appreciated His significance until recently. I mean I knew Jesus died for my sins, and figured that as long as I tried to be a good person and asked for forgiveness when I wasn’t, everything would be just fine. And for the most part it was. I mean I talked to God and sometimes questioned some of His actions like, how come I couldn’t afford things or how come I’m not a size 5, but these past few years have brought to my attention just how shallow my questions were.

The world has been under a magnifying glass with terroristic threats, especially since 9/11/01. My heart went out to all the victims and their families, but it really hit close to home when my boss’s son, Daniel Pearl, was kidnapped and murdered while working on a story in Pakistan. It hit all the headlines and I was now witnessing the personal effects of such brutalities first hand and had huge questions for God. Why did this happen? What good would it do? I still don’t know God’s reasoning for allowing something this (and I do ask Him all the time), but He has brought amazing change through such tragedy. God provided resilience in my boss and his family by amazingly helping them turn to the very thing that took Danny. They created a foundation in his name to promote cross-cultural understanding and continue the memory of an inspirational life. I was able to help them by providing clerical and graphical computer support – tedious detailed work, but necessary to begin the foundation.

More questions to God came earlier this year when my dear friend, Marie Bocek Hlaudy, was literally taken by cancer in the prime of her life. Another big “why” question for God. I’m still waiting for answers, but in the meantime He has given me comfort in knowing that Marie is with Him. I was with her at the hospital when she took her last communion and at her bedside when she took her last breath. He allowed me to lay hands on Marie and provide comfort through prayer and massage. I am thankful that she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and died peacefully surrounded by so many family and friends.

I never realized that God would show His presence to me by making His presence in others known. I am thankful He put me in a place that I could help provide comfort in darkest hours. Now I know what it is to appreciate being His tool.

Of course questions in my personal life are always arising, but the one that I ask daily is of my family, specifically Kendall. For some background, I met Tony in my 10^th grade year at Venice High. After 8½ years of dating, we finally married in 1989. It was an answered prayer. Our first three sons, Ryan, Trenton, and Mason entered our lives with great anticipation and excitement. Kendall was another story altogether. Not that we weren’t excited about his arrival, we just weren’t expecting him 4 months early at 1½ pounds. He was so small and helpless. A ventilator did the work his lungs were too weak to do. I never prayed so hard in my life. Pastor Jim’s sermon that Sunday after Kendall was born, was about doing what you can and then knowing when its time to put it in God’s hands. That very afternoon when we went back to the hospital, Kendall’s condition was critical. I remember the look of the nurse’s face as we turned the corner to his bed – she was so scared. There were doctors and nurses running all around him and there wasn’t enough room for us to be near him. When we left, I didn’t know if we would see Kendall alive again. What did I do to cause this? Why was God putting us through this? The pleas were endless. Tony reminded me of Pastor Jim’s words and I prayed that God give me strength to do just that – put it in His hands. After a lot of questioning and yelling at God, I took that leap of faith and as soon as I did, I felt a weight lifted off my heart. Turning over the weight did not make our problems or worries go away, but God provided us with family, friends, and church to help us through Kendall’s hospital stay and gave us a true sense of love and support. Ryan, Trenton, and Mason were amazing; drawing pictures for their new little brother and encouraging me and Tony with lots of hugs and kisses. Four months later, a day before his original due date, Kendall came home to us. He is a true miracle.

We still remain challenged in one form or another, but knowing that God is with us brings me comfort, especially during the most difficult times – when discouragement rears its ugly head. I find myself deep in conversation with God, continuing to question His actions and also asking for understanding and guidance in making my own decisions. Kendall, Mason, Trenton, Ryan, and Tony are my source of inspiration and our Lord will always be my source of Truth and Light.

I thankfully and publicly declare myself as a follower of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.